We had an unusual start-- I was your teacher. I was a grad assistant who thought she knew everything and you were a reformed slacker. We hit it off. You told me that getting to perform on stage was one of the greatest moments in your life. I remember you bringing me flowers for my one-woman show. Who knew we would become such good friends.
That was then.
Let me go back to our previous roles of teacher-student to let you know that you don't treat people this way. Don't be a dick. If this is the way you treat your best friends, according to you, then you are fucked. Shame on you. F for friendship. Sub-par work on every level. You need to re-enroll because you won't be getting credit. Be certain that when you call me on my birthday, a year since we last talked, I won't be picking up. You won't notice, because you're too stupid to. And better yet, if your girlfriend gets sick of your tiresome ways and you start to call again in earnest, I won't be picking up. When did you get so sleazy?
Ick.
Good luck in the future. Your sorry ass is going to need it.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Why I Love Glee: Or, My Dear John Letter to The Office
Dear The Office,
I never imagined that I would have to write a letter like this. We have had our bumpy times-- like first watching the British you the summer my father died and wondering what all the fuss was about; Hearing there would be an American version of you and cringing; Watching the first season of you as an American and resolving to never watch again. Like most immature things, I got over it and fell for you. I didn't want to do it. I truly didn't. I had other things to do-- like writing a dissertation, finding a job, not killing inept colleagues-- the normal run-of-the-mill things that makes normal life boring and pedestrian.
I fell in love with you Office. When I realized what had happened, well, I was ill-prepared for the consequences. I didn't know my heart could love so much. I loved Michael's idiotic hatred of Toby and that a big girl like Phyllis could find love with Bob Vance of Bob Vance Refrigeration. I adored beets as only procured by Shrute Farms. There was a particular friendship that I envied. And then that friendship turned into love and my envy blossomed in the sweetest possible way. My heart soared at the dulcet tones of Hunter's band and the relationship bulding advice that "You can get new things, but you can't get a new party." And what to do with Holly and Kevin. Her generous encouragement that "You can get anything on the top row," reminds us all that life is about having the correct amount of change.
Something happened. I'm not proud of myself. I've always considered myself a faithful person. Sure, have I peeked at other shows? I'm human aren't I? I admit it... Pushing Daisies was so nice to me, I just found myself spending more time with it. I flirted with True Blood and Big Love-- but nothing ever happened. Nothing. I swear!
Look, something happened back in May. I just planned on watching some TV one night. No big deal. I don't know how to say it, but I'm really confused and think I need a permanent break from us. Just listen to me-- don't freak out. I just... well... I'm in love. I just know it. I'm in love. With Glee.
I love you. I do. But it's a different kind of love with Glee. I had no idea it could be this way, but all I want is to spend time with Glee. In the morning I think of Glee. When students come to my office hours, in my head I'm thinking about what day it is and how long until I can get home to listen to music Glee gave me or how long until I can watch the latest video Glee posted on YouTube. I know that it's not healthy to be so tied to one show, but it's really more about me wanting to be there for Glee. Now that we've found one another I know that neither of us wants to let go.
I don't want you to think that you've done anything wrong. You've been there for me. Even when we had a mini-break because of the strike, we were faithful to one another. We knew we would be back with each other before too long. And we were. And it was amazing. I don't think we were ever better actually. And then Glee showed up. I wasn't looking for anything new. Really.
I love Glee so much. Glee is so good to me. And good for me. For the first time in a long, long time, I feel like I'm opening myself up to joy. Pure, unadulterated joy. We're not perfect, but Glee makes me want to be a better person. Glee reminds me what it is like to sing with unfettered emotion; to dance around my bedroom singing and believing that there is someone out there for me. Being with Glee is like being in a car in the summertime with the windows down and your best friend beside you. Both of you are smiling and laughing and loving the act of living. Whether it was Journey or The Cure on the mix tape, all that you knew was that this was the way life was supposed to be-- forever.
I know that Glee will take good care of me. Finn, in particular, is a good person and he will treat me with only the utmost respect. I see us being together for the rest of our lives, Finn and I. I know it's far too soon to expect anything from you, but I want us to be friends. I do. You've been a part of my life for so long, that the thought of never having you in my life again... well, it devastates me. Maybe one day (maybe?) we can all hang out together and then you'll see how amazing Glee is.
I will always love our time together Office. I'll never forget you.
Love-
A.
I never imagined that I would have to write a letter like this. We have had our bumpy times-- like first watching the British you the summer my father died and wondering what all the fuss was about; Hearing there would be an American version of you and cringing; Watching the first season of you as an American and resolving to never watch again. Like most immature things, I got over it and fell for you. I didn't want to do it. I truly didn't. I had other things to do-- like writing a dissertation, finding a job, not killing inept colleagues-- the normal run-of-the-mill things that makes normal life boring and pedestrian.
I fell in love with you Office. When I realized what had happened, well, I was ill-prepared for the consequences. I didn't know my heart could love so much. I loved Michael's idiotic hatred of Toby and that a big girl like Phyllis could find love with Bob Vance of Bob Vance Refrigeration. I adored beets as only procured by Shrute Farms. There was a particular friendship that I envied. And then that friendship turned into love and my envy blossomed in the sweetest possible way. My heart soared at the dulcet tones of Hunter's band and the relationship bulding advice that "You can get new things, but you can't get a new party." And what to do with Holly and Kevin. Her generous encouragement that "You can get anything on the top row," reminds us all that life is about having the correct amount of change.
Something happened. I'm not proud of myself. I've always considered myself a faithful person. Sure, have I peeked at other shows? I'm human aren't I? I admit it... Pushing Daisies was so nice to me, I just found myself spending more time with it. I flirted with True Blood and Big Love-- but nothing ever happened. Nothing. I swear!
Look, something happened back in May. I just planned on watching some TV one night. No big deal. I don't know how to say it, but I'm really confused and think I need a permanent break from us. Just listen to me-- don't freak out. I just... well... I'm in love. I just know it. I'm in love. With Glee.
I love you. I do. But it's a different kind of love with Glee. I had no idea it could be this way, but all I want is to spend time with Glee. In the morning I think of Glee. When students come to my office hours, in my head I'm thinking about what day it is and how long until I can get home to listen to music Glee gave me or how long until I can watch the latest video Glee posted on YouTube. I know that it's not healthy to be so tied to one show, but it's really more about me wanting to be there for Glee. Now that we've found one another I know that neither of us wants to let go.
I don't want you to think that you've done anything wrong. You've been there for me. Even when we had a mini-break because of the strike, we were faithful to one another. We knew we would be back with each other before too long. And we were. And it was amazing. I don't think we were ever better actually. And then Glee showed up. I wasn't looking for anything new. Really.
I love Glee so much. Glee is so good to me. And good for me. For the first time in a long, long time, I feel like I'm opening myself up to joy. Pure, unadulterated joy. We're not perfect, but Glee makes me want to be a better person. Glee reminds me what it is like to sing with unfettered emotion; to dance around my bedroom singing and believing that there is someone out there for me. Being with Glee is like being in a car in the summertime with the windows down and your best friend beside you. Both of you are smiling and laughing and loving the act of living. Whether it was Journey or The Cure on the mix tape, all that you knew was that this was the way life was supposed to be-- forever.
I know that Glee will take good care of me. Finn, in particular, is a good person and he will treat me with only the utmost respect. I see us being together for the rest of our lives, Finn and I. I know it's far too soon to expect anything from you, but I want us to be friends. I do. You've been a part of my life for so long, that the thought of never having you in my life again... well, it devastates me. Maybe one day (maybe?) we can all hang out together and then you'll see how amazing Glee is.
I will always love our time together Office. I'll never forget you.
Love-
A.
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