He's Just Not That Into You

Who knew that a movie could have such insight? Such predictive powers? I'm watching He's Just Not That Into You and he calls. He calls. Not God, but the one, you know, the guy, the one I've said "He's just not that into you" to myself over. That 'he.' He calls. I answer as the movie continues to play.... No answer on his part. I can hear his pals laughing in the background. Telling. Telling me, yet again, that he's not the one for me. I need to forget about him.
I watch the film and feel the butterflies consume my stomach. I cry. I can't help but think back, wistfully, to that phone call. He never calls and to not answer seems an especially cruel lesson in love.

The movie ends with me having shed tears at seeing love- albeit a fantasy, but the only way I'll be able to partake and I'm okay. I start to tidy up in the kitchen and the phone rings again. It's him. Again, there's nothing on the other end. I text him back, becoming one of 'those' women from the movie. He apologizes after we finally get to the bottom of it... he was inadvertently making phone calls to me because my name, alphabetically, is first in his address book. It cuts. It stings. It's as it should be.

I go back to tidying. Before doing so, I put his number on my reject list. I need to be done with this foolishness once and for all, and at the very least tonight. By the time I get back to the phone he's called 3 times and texted me to "pick up." I text back, but it is already too late. His momentary lapse of reason that allowed him connect with me is over and he really doesn't need me or to communicate with me.

When I was lamenting the sting that he brings to me, like the Acacia tree, fully of thorns, a friend send me a photo of the real Him. Again, not God, but the one I will be with.

It is so sad the way we spend our lives making do and imagining what life will be with the one who decided he had no better place to be at the time. "Don't choose me because I am faithful/ Don't choose me because I am kind/ If your heart settles on me, I'm for the taking/ Take me for longing or leave me behind," sings Alison Krauss.

It's over. I'm breaking up with you. You won't ever know it, because to know it would mean you care to know. And we both know that's not the case.